Monday, July 7, 2008

My Rant

Today a co-worker and friend of mine called to thank me and tell me I was right(guess they didn't know I am always right), lol. Today their grand baby was born healthy. Months ago I had a frantic call from my friend telling me that they had diagnosed her daughters baby with Edwards syndrome. I thought I had heard of it and looked it up. I did know about it. It is mainly known as Trisomy 18. I went online and found this wonderful video called 99 Balloons, it is a tear jerker but well worth watching. Trisomy 18 is almost always fatal but not always. I bought the video to give to my friends daughter. I never gave it to her, because the next time I talked to her she told me how the doctors decided her baby had T-18. Through the AFP blood test. I about died, but then started laughing. Yes, I couldn't help it. I asked my friend what they saw on the ultra sound as markers. Nothing!! Yet they were telling her doom and gloom stories and never telling her there was a HUGE chance nothing was wrong with her baby. They sent her to specialist and geneticist and yet most told her that her baby was more than likely going to have T-18. The mother wouldn't have an amino because it didn't make a difference in the outcome, she also has alot of medical problems and was worried what that could do to her baby. The worst is that they NEVER explained to her that the AFP just tells you your chances, that it doesn't tell you if your child will have a trisomy for sure. They made it seem like, she was carrying a child with T-18. Today she gave birth to a child that was healthy. Doctors can be horrid about dealing with these things.

Lets talk about me. I have my first child, no idea anything is wrong until she is born. When she is two months old we go to a geneticist. whom explains that I carry a gene and have a 1 in 10 chance of having another child with down syndrome. These are his next words exactly as he said them (can't forget stuff like this), "The next time you get pregnant, you will want to have an amino and if IT test positive for down syndrome, you will want to abort." I proceed to tell him I don't believe in abortion and he informs me "You'll change your mind, your baby is still young" Hmmmmmmm, he didn't know me well, as my second child with down syndrome was born less than two years later.

This is suppose to be the age of choices but for some reason, most drs don't give women choices when it comes to this. They make them think they have to have these test, that they have to abort a baby that is not healthy. Some may disagree but I have seen it happen way too often. I run across women all the time over 35 that thought they HAD to have an amnio. I'm not kidding here. It happens. I have never had any of the testing while pregnant except ultra sounds and fetal echo's. I did have to sign papers for the drs. refusing the amnio. That is to protect their butts from me suing them, if my child isn't born "perfect". I can understand that in this day and age, as long as they give me the choice. Anyway I am done for now, but I am sure I will be back on this subject to rant some more.

12 comments:

Lane Boyz Mom said...

Oh thank heavens your friends baby was born healthy:) Congrats to them!!

And I'm with you, if I were told I had to have an amnio, I am quite sure I'd fight it...even tho there isn't a chance in the world I'd end up pregnant now anyway, just my thoughts on it, LOL

WheresMyAngels said...

I'm sure praying I don't end up pregnant again!! lol Need to go get the tubes tied but really wish my child husband would get himself fixed, ain't going to happen but a girl can dream.

Charissa said...

Oh, I HATE that!

christie said...

You're such a wonderful woman and mother. You're daughters are beautiful!
So glad your friends child was born healthy. Sounds like the doctors gave her quite a scare for no reason.

Mindy said...

I never understood why a Doctor would want to scare someone into aborting their baby just because they may be medically fragile or a little different than the norm. I'm not going to be scared to talk to someone just because they are in a wheelchair or because they were burned, I really don't see the difference. I'm glad that your friend's little one is OK and I wish they would give their doctor a swift kick in the butt for making them worry!

WheresMyAngels said...

I will say that I try not to pass judgment on those who choose not to carry to term because of something fatal their child may have. I understand that is is very hard to carry a child whom you know won't make it. Although I would make a different choice I can still understand where they are coming from. But Doctors need to offer more than one view.

Once when Mercede was two and very ill, we were in a new hospital and the cardiologist takes one look at me carrying my 4 month old with DS and realizes I have two with DS. His first words out of his mouth were " Did you have an amnio" I said "No". He says " Did your doctors tell you that you could have an amnio?" I told him "Yes" and then he says "Well, why didn't you?" Meaning, why didn't I abort. He never introduced himself, and was talking about this when it was thought that Mercede was going to die. She was septic and at the time they thought she had meningitis, a young girl had just died of it the day before.

That same Dr. told some friends of mine that there was nothing he could do for their daugther to let her go home and die. Their daugther had the same defect as my daughter and also had DS. Thank God they didn't listen to him and their daughter is here today. It is amazing what some people get away with. I will blame US for letting him get away with it. I finally filed a complaint about him a few years ago, even though this happened years and years ago. I was angry with myself and still am. I also wish I would of gotten those parents to file one also. My girls cardiologist just retired so we have to find a new one, because I refuse to use him.

Lisa@BlessedwithGrace said...

I am a labor and delivery nurse. I have seen babies born with Trisomy 18. It is usually fatal, as you said. What a blessing that this child was born healthy. My daughter is one year old. I had her at 36. I did not have an amnio. We did have a QUAD screen done which showed that my percentage for having a Down's Syndrome child was even more elevated that the doctor had expected, given my age. So, we prayed and waited. Grace was born without any complications and healthy. I am glad we had the QUAD screen. I saw no need in the amnio. We would have kept our baby, no matter what.

WheresMyAngels said...

You know in a way I wish I would of done the Quad screening, it might have been amusing. Half of my friends that have children with Down syndrome, did not show higher chances after they got the results of their screenings.

Cynthia said...

So glad to hear your friend baby was born healthy! Also the 99ballons .. should be a BIG WARNING: grab boxes of tissues or least a towel! I bawled! Thanks for sharing it though!
I never had animo with either of my kids.They both have DS. We did the blood test with oldest and it was negative! She postive for translocation 13/21.....
I would never abort... but can see why some would.

Hugs my friend!
Cynthia

Apple Joos said...

I refused the AFP with both of my pregnancies and the doctors thought I was nuts. They just didn't seem to understand that I didn't want to spend my pregnancy terrified of something I couldn't control anyway. I would love my children regardless! I think that doctors tend to run on autopilot and as long as women LET them run the show, they will. There are too many women who are uneducated about their own pregnancies that they just don't know, ya know?

WheresMyAngels said...

Amen SITSa!

Gourley Family said...

They told me with both of my kids that I could abort. Especially with Lilly, because she was given a 1% chance to make through to be born alive. I told the doctors that it was not an option, and thankfully, the did not push the subject. She lived 5 1/2 weeks, which was 5 1/2 weeks longer then expected! Also, one of Lilly's pediatricians told us Lilly's first night of life, that she would die that night, and had we thought about organ donation. Lilly did not die that night, and definitely showed them a thing or two!
Heart hugs,
Emily